rentboy-tony:

vidocqsociety:

adriofthedead:

zzdigital:

What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn’t realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like

“Dude, you haven’t gone outside in a while.”
“Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.”

“Are you still up?”
“Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix.”

“Dude, I’m seriously craving something right now.”
“Like what?”
“I dunno. Pizza rolls?”

“Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?”
“Um, it’s called ‘being polite’…?”

“Dude, I thought you liked garlic?”
“I dunno, man. I got really bad food poisoning last time I ate something garlicky and now it makes me, like, super nauseous.”

“What happened to your silver necklace? I thought it was your favorite.”
“It is, but it’s been giving me this weird rash lately, so I stopped wearing it.”

“Dude but what about our kayaking trip this weekend?”
“No way man, you know what lives in running water? Alligators, dude.”