okay but let’s say “women can be sexist!” okay fine sure. so a woman is sexist, she says, “i hate men,” you say, “fuck off lady,” go home kinda hurt that she’s mean. the next day you will interact with plenty of women who aren’t sexist. that one woman becomes a story you tell your buddies and everyone laughs. your life doesn’t change.

this is the reverse of how women live. at every interaction, our bodies are ready to flinch. when a man says, “i hate women,” most of us don’t say, “fuck off,” we feel our hearts beat faster and our hands tremble. we go home panicked. happy to be in one piece. happy we made it out of there. we don’t talk about you. you are not the first person to disrespect us, and you won’t be the last. you are the scar every single one of us carries. the next day, all but a few of the men we talk to will carry your face: our boss who constantly checks out his secretary, the man in the cubicle next to us who is always making sex jokes and saying, “what’s wrong sweetie?” when we ask for help, the man down the hall who likes to put cups on his chest and sing out “oh no i broke a nail!” and toss his hair and show that female is stupid and clumsy and everyone always laughs but the air in our lungs is so tight we can’t swallow it.

let’s say some women are sexist. she yelled at you for holding the door open. she told you men are babies. she made a post on the internet saying “even if some of us might be, we are nowhere near as dangerous to you as you are to us”. she is one out of sixteen hundred.

let’s say some men really are nice guys. he doesn’t get angry if you snap at small things. he doesn’t call you hysterical if you start crying. he is constantly unlearning everything sexist that has been taught to him. he knows that a post which hurts his feelings won’t ever equate to someone following him home. he is one out of sixteen hundred.

men say, “i’m not a sexist, i married a woman.” men say, “i’m just playing devil’s advocate.” men say, “you don’t get how bad rejection is.” men say, “i’m not one of them, i’m a nice guy and if you let me fuck you, you’d know it.”

women say, “i hate men.”

men say, “its not my fault the system is like this. and besides, we have problems too.”

women say, “please, i just want to walk down the street without being worried what you will do”

men say, “if you want equal, can i punch you?”